December 2, 2014
Be me. Late
for my second flight from my layover in Dallas back to Seattle. Run onto the
plane ten minutes before take-off. Breathlessly situate myself in my aisle
seat. Silent prayer of thanks for aisle seat. Excessively affectionate couple
to my left, aisle to my right. Prepare myself for four hours of silent solitude
back to my city. Perfection.
Begin to
journal. I really like my handwriting. I’m engrossed in my own superfluous
story-telling to myself, settling into the final leg of my journey home from
Thanksgiving in Maryland. Just waiting on the stewardess to bring the drinks.
Quiet
Asian voice breaks my perfect introvert solitude like a small fly on the corner
of a TV screen. Did I hear something? Notice a small old Asian man leaning into
the aisle looking at my journal. “Are you writing an essay?” he repeats.
Politely tell him that I am just journaling, and I return to my silent
scripture. He did not take the hint. “I write essays in college. My daughter
writes essays too. She’s in high school.” I very quickly realize his question
was only an excuse to start talking.
And talk
he did. In his quiet Asian voice that all but disappeared in the drone of the
airplane, he talked for four hours without pausing, needing nothing from me
except eye contact and the occasional smiling nod. At first I wallowed in
self-pity and regret that I could not turtle-shell myself into introversion for
the next four hours, and I wondered how on earth I could extricate myself from
the undying monologue, but then I realized that this kind Asian man with his
Chinese accent and a voice like gentle rippling water truly was Buddha
reincarnated, and after about ten minutes of god-like wisdom infused with the
most random assortment of stories from his time as a Master of Arms in the Navy
and a juvenile corrections officer, I was holding onto every word he said like
it was the words of Jesus Christ himself. After twenty minutes of his speech, I
shamelessly took out my notebook and began to take notes, much to his delight.
The
following lines of brilliance are the sum total of four hours of ceaseless
monologue from a kind old Chinese man who deserves to have his wisdom shared.
So share it I shall.
“I am the biggest racist there is. I really am. Against the
human race. Humans are corrupt.”
“What you expose yourself to is what you will give back to
the world. Garbage in, garbage out.”
“In the navy, my drill sergeant told me to empty my pockets.
I didn’t empty my pockets. He asked me why. I told him I took it to mean that I
need to empty my proverbial pockets of bias. Bias closes your mind to
understanding. Empty your pockets.”
“Your behavior is indicative of where you’re headed.”
[Taking my notebook, he wrote the following]: “As
forward-deployed military personnel, you should act and reflect honor upon
yourself, your unit or command, and represent the United States as a diplomat.”
“No bullshit – I love to iron.”
“I work with at-risk juveniles. You must make juveniles feel
that the society wants them.”
“We don’t want to create more enemies than we have. If you
take a suspected terrorist and throw him in jail and treat him like a
terrorist, and then one day you find out he is not a terrorist and you set him
free, have you created a friend or an enemy? We must treat at-risk youth not
like they are criminals, but like respectable citizens, and that’s who they
will become.”
“Hope is the only thing to combat despair.”
“What is the one word that does not exist in the American
dictionary?” He paused for a moment, and I shrugged my shoulders. “Impossible.”
“Nowadays, marriage is just a piece of paper. Criminality
starts at home, when there is no home, and in the family, when there is no
family.”
“Eyeliner is intriguing
on a woman.”
“My wife will always occupy one of my heart chambers.”
On gay marriage: “Do you want another to dictate to you the parameters of whom you are
supposed to love?”
“Societal equilibrium is the prevention of crimes. Is it a
crime for a man to love a man?”
“The most dangerous people are Roman Catholics right after they
leave the church parking lot.”
“You’re more than naked when you’re pissed off. You’re
disemboweled, and the person that sees you angry has the power to push your
buttons and be the little insect you can’t scratch.”
“If you really want the president to succeed for the nation,
help him. Don’t tear him down. That’s un-American.”
“Good leadership is a product of good followership.”
“One must have a good set of global lenses in order to have
a better understanding of what clicks with an individual to bring about their
best qualities.”
“I used to be a hippie with long hair in a rock band. I
really was.”
“You might laugh at a foreigner’s accent, but they might
have the brightest ideas.”
“Early is on time, on time is late, but late is forgivable
because parking is horrendous.”
“Dream of small attainable dreams that will be stepping
stones to your bigger dream.”
